There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
