Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She's JV to your varsity
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
