And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
