my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
