do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
