"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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