were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
