So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the high leading the old right now
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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