some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
