im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
