Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
