He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
