the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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