She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's just like the Real World with babies
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
