I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She needs sedatives and a leash
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
