why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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