Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
