theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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