he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
