Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
