Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
