the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
