so that wasnt chicken after all
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
