youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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