"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
