yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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