Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
