I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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