it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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