Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
