real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
