and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
