hotel room ftw
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
