It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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