I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
