Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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