It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
