How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
