Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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