what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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