she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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