Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
