Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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