Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
