I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
