if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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