I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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