I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize