Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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