3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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